For the longest time I thought children were the worst things on this planet. I thought that children were the scourge of the earth, only existing to irritate the souls out of people who mattered, cared about things, and genuinely want to do good deeds. People like Superman. This was until I met an 18 year old on Election Day.
Today I performed my civic duty and voted. Who I voted for is completely irrelevant. There are thousands of blogs that talk about politics, why Republicans are Nazis, or why Democrats are evil twisted communistic demons, but what these blogs don’t teach you is voting etiquette, and I can’t believe it’s going to take a phone whoring sex toy saleswoman to teach you this…but here it goes:
Keep the shit to yourselves on Election Day. I’ll repeat this.
KEEP THE SHIT TO YOURSELVES ON ELECTION DAY!
Who you vote for is your personal private business, not the strangers around you. You had months and months to decide on a candidate, and Election Day, at the voting booth, is not a proper time to preach your political drivel. Shut your fucking trap, you obnoxious bitch.
Take the annoying creature I met today, Suzy Whorebuttcz, for example. Suzy just turned 18 and is obviously excited to vote. She is young, not terribly bright, frumpy with emo glasses. Her face is flat yet oblong, kind of resembling a taco. She is telling everyone to vote for Obama. She’s yelling out of her car window, “Obama!” “Obama, vote for Obama,” to people walking into the building to vote.
Don’t be like Suzy Whorebuttcz. She is a stupid cunt with absolutely no voting etiquette.
It’s people like her who trivialize the importance of elections. 18 year olds have such a limited grasp on politics and for the most part, should not be taken seriously. They have experienced such a small percentage of what life has to offer that their reality is skewed and focused like a pig who can only look up at a 45 degree angle. It’s not that I agree or disagree with her political affiliations as much as it’s how I don’t believe she has any fucking idea about what she’s talking about. Sure, Suzy, you may be going to college. Just like that “college” may have the word “community” in front of it, and your “major” may rhyme with “hiberal farts,” but your fancy shmancy attempts at an associates degree doesn’t negate the fact that you’re 18 and don’t know a god damn thing. One day, Suzy, I hope you realize this if you haven’t killed yourself from listening to too much Fallout Boy.
Don’t be like Suzy Whorebuttcz.
And do not be like this person from IamRob’s (I’m sorry, Rob!) Freak Safari Forum.
“As we were handing in our ballots to have them signed by a witness, an older black man approached me and asked if he’d filled his out right. I go over it with him, and explain the difference between voting straight Democrat/Republican or going through each position and selecting the individual. He asked me if I’d voted before, and I told him I have been since I turned 18. He seemed surprised and I told him I felt obligated given that people of his generation fought and died so that I could vote. He told me he felt sheepish being 63 and voting for the first time, but he’d never had anyone to vote for before. Like a lot of people, he said he never thought he’d see the day. Then we both got teary eyed and handed in our ballots.”
This person in the story hasn’t voted his entire life because he never had anyone to vote for? Give me a break. The only reason why that guy voted for Obama was because he’s black, and it was blatantly obvious. That person never educated himself, and the result is he chose not to vote. Don’t be like that man. Don’t be retarded.
Have voting etiquette. Vote for people because you educate yourselves on what their policies are, not because of them being black. Vote because you honestly care about the issues and want these people to represent you…not because they’re Irish, German, Italian, Black, White, Christian, Jewish. It makes you sound like an uneducated asshole, and you shouldn’t be voting in the first place. It’s the mentality like that girl and the old man she was talking to why we have electors instead of using the popular vote. If the people honestly had that mentality through and through, we don’t deserve to have a say because that mentality makes us look like morons.
Have voting etiquette!