It didn’t take me long to find a caller who irritates me. He calls himself Mr. Fantastic. Without a shred of irony; he truly thinks he’s fantastic.
The first night he called, I’d agreed to work late. He’s a Platinum client, and I guess he’s pretty notorious among the receptionists and the other phone whores. He wants a young, white, submissive girl. Mindy told me that for our first 10 minute call he’d quiz me and make sure that I was on the up and up. If I passed, he’d call back for longer.
Yippee.
“Hi Sarah, I’m Mr. Fantastic. How are you tonight?” He sounds smug and self satisfied. He’s an older guy. I see him sitting in a brown leather recliner in a half dark room sipping brandy out of a snifter. It all looks classy, but it reeks of cigar smoke and old man ball sweat.
“I’m good, thank you. And you?” I figured since he was all professional, I’d be too.
“Well, they told me you were 21 and busty. What are your measurements?”
“I’m a 38D, small waist and a nice round ass,” I tell him.
“I said ‘what are your measurements,’” he intones.
“Oh! Most people don’t…” I stammer.
“What are your actual measurements, Sarah?!” He practically shouts.
“38D-25-34.” I tell him in clipped tones, “Most people don’t really know what that means. . .”
“I’m not most people. I’m Mr. Fantastic, Sarah. How much do you weigh?”
He fires questions, I answer them. It goes on this way until the 10 minutes are finally up. I don’t get to rest, though, as Mr Fantastic calls back moments later.
“You passed, Charlotte!” Mindy says. “Lucky dog! You get to spend 30 minutes with Mr Fantastic!” Her laughter drips with sarcasm.
“Hello, Sarah,” Mr Fantastic says in a husky whisper. “You’re happy I called back, aren’t you?”
“Oh yes! I was hoping you would!”
“I know you were. Here’s how this is going to go. I’m the best Dom you’ll ever encounter. I’m the best lover you’ll ever have. It doesn’t matter that its over the phone. My phone sex is better than the sex you’re having in your real life.” His tone brooks no argument; he’s simply stating the facts.
“Oh my!” I whisper.
He asks me to tell him about the first time I had sex and I relax a little. I like story time. I don’t have to make sex noises or anything, I just make up my own little porn scene with details fitting the callers’ kinks. I tell him about my first time with a man and the first time with a woman. The first time I was thoroughly dominated. The last time I was fucked. I’m pretty happy that I get to spin all these sinful tales without having to have sex with Mr. Fantastic.
He settles in on the last time I was dominated and made to be a dirty whore. I confessed it was this past weekend at a frat party. He quizzes me on everything. What we did, how many times, what he said, where he came, on and on. My little imaginary frat boy is a bad motherfucker!
He suddenly changes course and says, “Now, that guy you had sex with this weekend didn’t know what he was doing. You’re too young, he’s too young. Now you’re going to do what I tell you to aren’t you, Sarah?”
“Yes, sir.” I say nervously.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Mr. Fantastic!”
“Good girl. Take off your clothes and put on your nipple clamps. . . Now get on your hands and knees on the carpet and drag your nipples back and forth across it.”
As he describes a scene, he repeats his command over and over, louder and louder, and his voice becomes more growly until he’s essentially barking.”Do it. Drag your nipples back and forth, back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back. And. Forth. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. FASTER! FASTER! FASTER! FASTERFASTERFASTERFASTER!”
“Yes sir!” I say breathlessly, as if I’m in pain, while wondering how the fuck he decided his name should be Mr. Fantastic.
“You’re gonna cum. . .gonna cum. . .gonna cum. Gonna cum. Gonna cum. Cum. Cum. Cum. CUM. CUM. CUMCUMCUMCUM!!!!”
Ok, this is getting fucking annoying.
At the end of the call, he says he’s going to call again. I try to swear him off, after all, I’m working late and I have to get up early for class tomorrow.
“I’m going to call you back, and you’re going to accept the call, Sarah. You’ll be a good girl and do what I tell you.” He sounds reasonable, but he’s letting me know that he’s getting angry. My first instinct is to cop an attitude and tell him to kiss my fucking ass. Then I remember he’s a Dom, I’m a sub, and I get paid more when they request me. I tell him fine.
He calls me for a 10 minute recap. He reiterates how great a lover he is and how all the girls here talk about him. He says they’ll all be jealous that he’s picking me to talk to and I’m a lucky girl because he’s such a tremendous lover.
I agree whole heartedly. “You really are fantastic! I’ve never cum so hard before!”
“Not even with your boyfriend, right?”
He asks me my schedule, and I give it. We’re close to out of time, so he tells me he’s going to call me back again. By now, it’s 2:30 in the morning and Mr. Fantastic can go blow his fantastic self.
“I’m going to call you back and you’re going to answer aren’t you?”
I hate the tone in his voice, and tell him, “Yes, I’ll answer.” And I mouth the word “NOT” to my cat. He calls back but my ringer is off. He’s called a number of times since then. Once at 3am! I didn’t answer then either. Fuck him. When I actually answer my phone when I’m not scheduled, and Mindy tells me it’s Mr. F, I decline. I told him my schedule and he chooses to ignore it. I start to resent his assholery. Who does he think he is calling me whenever the fuck he feels like it? I’m supposed to just answer?
When I finally take his call, it’s during my shift. It’s a 10 minute call and he fusses at me the whole time. He tells me I am rude and that he told me he was calling back. I point out that I told him I wasn’t going to answer. I catch myself being defensive and wanting to tell him fuck off. I remind myself he’s yelling at Sarah, not me, and I apologize.
I tell him I didn’t mean to offend him, but I had an exam the next day after the first time we talked, and that I’d thought about him a lot since that day. He told me he’d called a few times, but I wasn’t available.
He says, “hmm” like he doesn’t believe me, and then: “Well, I was driving through your state, and I thought of you. I thought, I wonder if Sarah can feel my vibes in her city…so I decided to call.”
“I’m glad you did, Mr. Fantastic!”
“You know, I told you the other girls just love me, right? Well, this is what they say, and I’m going to teach it to you, too, so you can say it when I call you….‘I love you, I adore you, and I worship you.’”
“Oh I do! Oh, Mr. Fantastic. I love you. I adore you. I worship you!” From teasing, insolent girl, to submissive and seductive.
He calls back. For another 10 minutes. We do the nipple clamp in the carpet thing. He makes me CUMCUMCUMCUM!
Then he calls back again, for another 10 minutes.
“Are you teasing me, Mr. Fantastic?” I ask him.
“Teasing you?”
“Yes, you keep calling for 10 minutes, so we leave things unfinished and I’m anxious, waiting to see if you’ll call back!” I wish I knew where I came up with this shit.
“Oh yes, you’re a smart girl,” he says. “This time I’m gonna fuck you!” He launches into his barking.
This is the first phone call in the course of this job where I do something else while we talk. I text Dennis.
“I hate this motherfucker so much.” I scream a big, fake orgasm, while rolling my eyes. “I’m faking an orgasm for him right now. He’s such a dipshit.”
It’s hard not to laugh my ass off when he says, “You feel so good right now, don’t you? I can tell you’re really cumming. You don’t fake for me, like you do with those other guys. You really cum for me, don’t you?”
“I do, Mr. Fantastic. You make me cum so hard!”
“I know you do. Next time you talk to Mindy, ask her about me. I can hear in her voice that she wants to talk to me. I know you girls gossip, and I know she’s heard about me. Over the years, I’ve built up quite the reputation as a good lover, and all the girls want to talk to me.”
“I wondered why Mindy was so short with me today!”
“See!” He laughs, quite pleased with himself. “She’s usually very friendly with you, but just now she was short because she’s jealous you get to talk to me and she doesn’t.” I giggle. “Next time you talk to her, you make sure you tell her how good a lover I am.”
“Oh I will! I’ll tell her you don’t get your name for nothing!”
“That’s right. Now, what do you have to tell me?”
“I love you.”
I hate you.
“I adore you.”
Die in a fire.
“I worship you.”
8 dollars, bitch.