Hello everyone, I am your new friend and phone whore Beatrix.
Firstly I would love to thank IamRob from Freak Safari for giving me this website. When I first read the stories I was a fan and spent hours giggling about disgusting sex with perverts. I promise you that you will all get that from me and much much more.
I want to take this blog in a different direction. Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge fan of Charlotte, but I always felt something was missing from her blog. My goal is to bring more to this website and make it flourish.
Secondly, I absolutely love sex, porn, women, men, and funny toys! I am fascinated with this culture in the way that Jim Carey was fascinated with the number 23. There are other kinds of sex other than phone sex and I plan on talking about it as much as possible. It amuses me.
In a nutshell I own my own phone sex company, along with several online sex toy stores. I have professional phone sex if there are no girls working and for fun. If you want to know more about me, here is my full biography.
Now onto a story!
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Is it weird to say that I’m used to playing a dead girl? I thought so. I have a slew of these stories, but I wanted to wait for Halloween before we get into undead fetishes. For now we can go into the semi-undead fetishes.
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“Hello Beatrix,” a man who identifies himself as Adam whispers.
“Hi!!” I say. I am quite enthusiastic. I think this is mostly because I haven’t realized I am on a whore phone call yet. *Note to self: I need to change my ringtones.
“What are you doing?”
“Just sitting here watching television. What are you doing Adam?”
“Not Adam, Addams.”
“Addams.”
“Addams.”
“Oh—kay. What are you doing, AddamZZZZZ?”
“Gomez Addams.”
Now it’s at this moment where everything suddenly becomes so clear. I can do an Addams Family scenario. For the longest time I had a huge crush on Mortisha. This is going to be fun!
“Mortisha is out for the weekend with Pugsley and Wednesday. They’re at camp.”
“So are you coming with us, mi amore!” I say in my best Moritsha Addams voice.
“No no. You’re not going to be Mortisha?”
God dammit!
“I’m not?”
“No, IT.”
“Is that the hand?”
“No but you did give me a good idea! You can be cousin IT. Everyone is out for the long weekend. IT is the hairy cousin. But IT has a huge throbbing cock for Gomez, doesn’t he?”
“I sure do!”
“No, IT doesn’t sound like that, you have to have to beep.”
“Beep?”
“Yes, beep.”
Now I remember who Cousin IT is. He is that hairy guy from the Addams Family! Gross! He even creeped me out when I watched that movie. Why couldn’t I be Mortisha? I can do Mortisha. Even Lurch or that awful witch lady, but IT? I’m too offended to laugh at this.
“Beep beep beeeeeeeeep beep beep beep beep beep”.
“Oh hell yes, cara mia.”
“Beep beep beeeep beepbeep beep beep beepy.”
“Lick my hole, cousin IT.”
“Beep beep beep beepbeep beep beep beep beep beep.”
It continues until he, in his best Gomez accent voice, calls for Thing to come over and jerk us both off.
“Ok I’m going to get Thing to jerk us both off.”
“Beep beep.”
Gomez sounds like he’s really enjoying himself. I do my part, it’s actually quite easy to do. I even try to throw in real words into my beeps like cousin IT did, so you can kind of understand what I’m saying, but not quite. It’s really not that easy.
“Do you like that, IT?”
“Fu-beeeeep, yea-eeeeep.”
Try it, it’s tough!
After Mr. Addams gets off after his arousing weekend without the misses, I hang up and sit down in my chair and stare at the wall, contemplating what just I just allowed myself to do. This is not even close to the most bizarre of my stories, but it’s a story that tackles almost every genre of weird sex.
Incest? Well he did call me Cousin IT.
Bestiality? I consider IT an animal. He’s really hairy. If you don’t buy this, he asked Thing to join in, and they consider Thing a pet.
Gay sex? Cara mia!
And with all this weird crazy shit going on, all he really wanted was a little rim action and a hand job from some kind of hand pet thing.
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