It’s Thursday and I started work this morning at 10am CST. Daytime hours are hard to figure, so I wasn’t sure how busy I’d be. I only took 11 calls, but phew, most of them were doozies.
10:21 - 10:29
Phil wants mid-30s, white and kinky. He tells me his wife is out of town, and he decided that rather than be naughty while she was gone, he’d call me. He explains it’s still kind of naughty, but not as bad.
He asks if I want Daddy’s dick. The rest of the call is descriptions of oral sex. He hangs up before he cums.
10:32 – 10:36
LaShawn wants a 21 year old, slutty black chick. He tells me he’s stroking his dick. He asks how I want him to stroke it.
Of course I say, “nice and slow.” He sounds close already, so I’m hoping to stall and make a few more cents. It doesn’t quite work. As soon as I told him I had two fingers inside my pussy, he groaned. He thanks me before he hangs up, which is always nice.
11:25 – 11:30
Mindy says, “You have a per minute call with Vince. He wants 55, white, sweet and sexy. He wants you to pick him up at the supermarket and take him home and cook him for dinner.”
“Wow! Really?”
She laughs, “Yup, you’ll be cooking him!”
“I swear, every time I think I’ve heard everything working here…”
“I know! Have fun!!”
I describe running into Vince in the produce section of the grocery store. I ask him if he’s got plans for dinner tonight and he tells me he does not.
“You should come to my place,” I say seductively, “I’d love to have you for dinner.”
“That sounds nice,” he says. He’s not very animated and doesn’t sound aroused at all. I’m a little confused as I’m not sure how this should go. I figure I’ll take him to my place, then hack him up with my butcher knife.
“We get to my house, and I tell you to go clean up while I busy myself cutting up the vegetables I just bought,” I say, setting the scene.
“Ok,” he says and sits quietly for a beat, “I’m done and I walk back into the kitchen.”
“And I bash you over the head with my meat tenderizing mallet!” I say, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. I had it all planned out, I’d describe taking my big knife and slicing off hunks of meat to put in my roasting pan with my cut up veggies. I was contemplating if I should describe skinning him, or sawing through bones, but I figured I’d flesh it out after I gauged his reaction to the head-bashing.
“What’s that big cauldron over there? It looks big enough for me to swim in,” he says, ignoring the fact that I just bashed him over the head with my mallet. I guess there will be no hacking with butcher knives for Charlotte.
“Why don’t you hop in that cauldron for me?” I try to contain my disappointment. Cauldron boiling is nowhere near as fun, or cathartic, as hacking someone to bits with a big, sharp knife.
“Ok! Oh, it’s nice and warm!” He still has that detached, monotone quality to his voice, so I’m still perplexed as to how this needs to go.
“It is! I’m making a nice stew, so you just get in there with that hot broth and all those yummy veggies! I grab my turkey baster and squirt broth over your head and shoulders.”
“Mmmm. Hey, who’s knocking at the door? Is your girlfriend coming for dinner?”
“That would be Linda, I invited her. She walks in the kitchen and takes over the basting duties.”
Then I hear the click as he hangs up. Wow, what the fuck?
12:37 – 12:40
Tim wants a mid 50s, sensual dom. He called on the “Mommy Line,” so, I’m anticipating some incest action.
“I just took it out of my pants,” he says, breathless.
“You did?! What’s that cock like?” I ask him.
“An average, regular cock. 6 inches and it’s so hard!”
“Oh! That’s very nice, Tim!”
“It’s all filled up with sperm.”
“Mmmm, well, we’ll have to take care of that, won’t we?”
“Yes, because sperm has to come out, right?”
“It does!” I say enthusiastically.
“The sperm has to come out,” He says.
“Yes, you’re right, the sperm has to come out.”
“Sperm has to come out.”
“Oh yes, Tim. Let’s get that sperm out.”
“Sperm has to come out.”
“It does…I’ll help you get it out!”
“Sperm has to come out.”
“…”
“Sperm has to come out.”
“Sperm has to come out,” I repeat, because I’m not really sure what else to say at this point.
“Sperm has to come out,” he says again, thickly.
“Yes…”
“Sperm has to come out.” Then suddenly, “It’s coming! It’s coming out! The sperm is coming out!!”
“Good! That sperm has to come out!”
“Yes, sperm has to come out.” And he hangs up.
12:43 – 12:50
Dave just wants a blow job from an 18 year old. Simple.
12:51 – 12:52
Nick wants a black girl. We do our introductions and we’re disconnected. I figure it’s because I’m having internet problems.
12:53 – 12:53
Jim wants a black girl. In the middle of giving me the details, Mindy realizes Jim is Nick. He hung up and called back because he wanted someone else. Apparently, I’m not black enough.
2:09 – 2:19
Mervin Cooper calls up again. When I say hello, and ask him how he’s doing, he moans.
“I love your voice so much!” he whispers.
“Aww, thank you, honey. What naughty little fantasy have you cooked up for us today?” I ask softly.
He just called me three days ago. Apparently, he’s home sick from work.
This time, I’m an actress in the porn industry. I’m teaching young girls all about the joys of hanging. I train them how to hang people. As usual, he lays out the story and I just have to murmur encouragement occasionally. As we get closer to the end, and his voice starts to falter, I know what to say to get him there.
“I tell the girl to help me up on the stool, and cuff my hands behind my back, I tell her to put the rope around my neck. I tell her to ask me if I’m certain.”
“She asks you if you’re sure,” Mervin picks up my thread.
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m sure I want to hang until I die for you today.” He groans long and low, so I continue, “Will you watch me? Will you watch me hang until I die for you today?”
Mervin finishes up and tells me, “I love that fantasy…I love your voice…” and we’re disconnected.
3:45 – 4:00
I’m in the middle of scrubbing my stove when John calls up, wanting a very pregnant 25 year old.
“I’m John. What’s your name?”
“Sarah.”
“How do you spell that?”
“S-a-r-a-h.”
“Like Sarah McLachlan?”
“Yea…”
After our descriptions, he asks how far along I am.
“I’m actually a week overdue!”
“Really? When were you due?”
“On the first…they’ll induce if the baby doesn’t come this weekend,” I tell him, breathing heavily as I imagine a super pregnant woman would.
“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”
“It’s a girl.”
“What will you name her?”
“Danielle.”
“Like Danielle Steele?”
“Yea…” what the fuck?
“Are you married?”
“Nope,” I really don’t know why I said no, I just usually answer their questions with the first thing to pop in my mind. I would never really name my daughter Danielle, either.
“Is he a nice guy? Is he in your life?”
“Oh yes, he’s a good man, and he’s excited about the baby. I’m just not the marrying type.” Whatever that means.
“I wish I were with you. I’d love to go to bed with you every night, and be the father to your daughter, and watch her grow up and have more children with you,” he says wistfully.
“Aw, that’s very sweet,” I’m having a hard time covering up my bewilderment. He’s just having a conversation about my pregnancy and all his questions are beginning to annoy me. I don’t know a whole lot about being pregnant, so I’m hoping he doesn’t want too much detail.
“Are you lactating?” He asks suddenly.
“I am!” Here comes the sex, phew.
“Yum. Hot mom’s milk is so much better than cow’s milk!” He exclaims.
“Yea…”
“Do you take lamaze classes?” He asks. I guess we’re not going to have sex after all.
“Yup, we sure do.”
“Who’s the hottest woman in your class? What does she look like?”
“Her name is Linda…”
“Oh, like Linda Hamilton?”
“Yea…She’s got long red hair, she’s very pretty.”
“Is she big?”
“She’s having twins, so she’s super huge!”
“Oh wow? Is she having boys or girls or one of each?”
“She doesn’t know. She and her husband want to be surprised.”
“Oh, I wish I could have an orgy with you and all the pregnant women in your lamaze class!”
“That would be fun,” I giggle.
My cat has been in a howling mood today. He saunters into the kitchen yowling at the top of his lungs. He seems to enjoy meowinng when I’m on the phone, so I’ve taken to keeping a squirt bottle near me when I work. I don’t have it in the kitchen with me, so I pick him up instead to quiet him. I hear the beep warning me that our time is almost up and I am giddy with relief.
“Is that a cat I hear?” John asks.
“Yup.”
“Male or female?”
“It’s a male.”
“Are you preparing him for the arrival of his human sister?”
“As much as you can prepare a cat,” I laugh, “he likes sniffing around in her crib.”
“I have a cat too. I live in New York and there are lots of mice in my apartment. It’s good for me to have a cat because he kills them all for me.”
I have no idea what to say, but I’m a little grossed out. “Oh, that’s good. It’s nice that you have a good mouser if you have lots of mice around.”
“It is. Enough about the cats, do you want to have more babies someday?”
“I would, I’d love to have a big family.”
“Me, too. I wish I could be there with you and see your big pregnant belly. I’ve never had sex with a pregnant woman, but I heard it was amazing! Do you measure your belly? I bet you’re really huge if you’re a week overdue.”
“Yea…”
Saved by the disconnect. Wow, what the fuck?
4:20 – 4:50
I have regular sex with Rick. He stresses how he just wants to make me happy, and does most of the talking. I moan and sometimes add to his description. He enjoys himself and says he’ll call me again. Score!
4:51 – 4:55
Raymond and I have oral sex. Another simple call with my sound effects punctuating his story telling.
4:59
I call Mindy and tell her I’m done! Not a terrible day all in all…